Eleven years gone. and memories are getting blurry. rusty to be exact. i don't grieve, i haven't grieved since the first few days, actually. But the anger is there, the anger of being left out. It was just like days when he sometimes went to roam by the river with his BMX without telling me, cause i didn't know how to ride a bike, i didn't know how to swim and if my mom finds out, she'll give both of us a taste of hell. i used to get angry at him for not taking me on those little adventures of his. Still i feel that anger. There he is, flying high above, doing who knows what up there, and all i'm left with are the the broken pieces of my childhood that i'm desperately trying to put together.
time after time, i have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone.
ahh fuck! enough of the emotional blabber! i guess i just miss my friend.
wish you were here, man.
May his soul rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteAnd may all of gods graces make heaven a wonderful abode for the dear friend you lost.